he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she peed on how many people?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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