I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
