Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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