the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
