i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
