hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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