I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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