He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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