We're facebook friends in real life
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you made out with another girl for some wings
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
