Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
