Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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