I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
