I am puke
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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