you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
