Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My dick has a subreddit
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
