so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
