I feel great
I just peed on a car
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize