Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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