i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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