that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
