I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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