k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
