Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
