Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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