She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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