Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize