btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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