In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
