loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
