You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
