I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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