Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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