im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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