Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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