I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
