we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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