My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
