You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
