No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
