You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize