i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
