My pussy is not your playground.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
