I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
