Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize