im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
