Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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