never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
