i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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