margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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