Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
