OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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