just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
