So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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