I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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