1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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