apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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