we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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