brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
