Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
