i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
