i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
