giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dicks are not precious.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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