The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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