Got a toothbrush?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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