Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
