Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
