sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize