Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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