garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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