i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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