remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
