soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
