there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
